Foundations...for those who wait (Email 2)

5 minute read


Note: This is an archive of an email from the October 2021 series and pre-enrollment for those on my email list who have been waiting for Foundations to open up again after a year away to grieve the loss of my beloved.


Welcome back.

I received a handful of emails yesterday, including some questions. As I promised yesterday, answers to questions will be in the postscript of this series so make sure you read all the way to the bottom.

I also appreciate it when you share your thoughts with me, so keep the emails coming.

In yesterday’s email, I shared my intention for this series. If you are just arriving, you can read it over here.

This adventure over the next few days will take us through four regions where we will give some loving attention to our longing for a more just word.

Build belief.

The kind of belief that can be an answer for when you turn around and notice doubt has caught your ankles.

Each region we will travel through has its own habitat.

And with it, a unique set of challenges.

But just as we can’t help but get wet when traveling through grasslands in the morning - where every blade of dew-kissed grass reaches up to release the swollen drops - we can’t help but receive a message from each region we journey.

Today, we are climbing up the mountain of what it means to stay put with one another.

Ponder with me for a moment about the journey up a mountain...

It’s steep
It’s challenging
You will need some tools
There’s safety in numbers
You might get hurt
The air is thin at the top
Vision is extended and widened

Years of gathering groups to journey together has been all of these things.

One of the particular wounds white people carry as the non-targets of the system of racism is a near total collapse of our community.

When I use the words “white community” most people respond back, “but I don’t feel like we have a white community.”

I know, friends.

I’ve been on this journey for 14 years.

And spent half of those years in isolation.

Sure, I would meet people at events and marches but for the most part I was losing more relationships than I was gaining.

Finding my first white affinity group was a complete game changer.

In an instant, I had people to talk to.

And even more that I wasn’t the only one bringing up the conversation.

It was like I suddenly found myself on an Olympic curling team, each one smoothing the way and doing their part to keep our goal moving forward.

We championed each other
Named the difficulty
Shared ideas, tips, and resources
And had each others’ backs
Cared for one another
Took time to acclimate to new environments
And caught vision from new vantage points

But we didn’t stay put with each other.

Looking back, I can see how unresolved conflict led to trailing off communication which led to us being on different sides of the mountain and heading off in multiple directions.

We wound up calling to one another from increasingly wide canyons.

And the distance eventually broke us.

By now you might be thinking “Rebecca, I thought you were here to help us build belief. This sounds like just another reason why we can’t do this.”

But I would be lying to you if I told you that everything always worked out.

It doesn’t.

And it hurts. It really hurts.

I’m still healing. No doubt they are too.

But I would also be lying if I didn't tell you this...

The ink hasn’t dried on our collective story yet.

Albert Einstein said “failure is success in progress.”

Every time something doesn’t turn out as we wanted, we have an option: use that failure to engineer our next attempt or let it take us out altogether?

If we can access curiosity amidst our pain and determination amidst our fears; we have a chance of finding our way back to each other.

But to access those things, I have to heal.

Healing is what loosens us from the patterned behavior that shows up as a result of unhealed wounds. Healing is what allows us to travel alongside of others with greater love and authenticity. Healing is what helps us remain………..willing.

To climb even when it’s steep and rest when we need to.

Acknowledge to each other how hard this is and cheer one another on.

Help when someone is struggling. Ask for help when you are struggling.

Never give up on anyone. Even if you can’t be the one to go get them. Find someone who can.

The truth is we are deeply interconnected. That’s why it hurts so much when harm occurs. Always repair damaged interconnectedness.

Keep breathing. Keep healing. Keep loving.

Fuel cooperation, prioritize the collective good, and co-create the map that leads us to being a people no longer attached to dominance.

Here's to staying put with one another...



Let’s get to some of your questions:

My friend isn’t able to use the link. It says the website is insecure?
Ugh. The site is secure. But it’s some kind of IOS problem that my tech team is working on. If you have another device to access the site with, it will work. If not - you can have them email me directly and I’ll send them the emails manually or they can wait for the public enrollment period Nov 8-20th.

Today’s email was great! Thank you! When do we get to enroll?
Tuesday, October 26th I’ll send only those in this series a private link where you will be able to enroll until 8pm PST.

It’s been a few years since I took your cohort. I’m really enjoying your writing recently and I’m thinking about joining the cohort again. What do you think?
A lot has changed in the cohort over a few years for two main reasons. One, I am changing and two, with every group that comes through the cohort, I rework or entirely replace sessions in order to be more effective at helping us transform. Additionally, one of the magical things about cohort is journeying together with a group of people. A new group is bound to offer you new insights, experiences, and stories that spur growth in yourself.

That’s all for today...more tomorrow!