feel like you can't bear
more virtual?
I get it. You're sick of virtual spaces and wish we'd offer something in-person.
It might surprise you to hear that I used to think our liberation spaces could only bear fruit when we were together, in person, particularly since we are so committed to virtual spaces now.
I'd love to share what changed my mind because being able to rethink is incredibly important.
In 2019 my business coach told me I needed to move everything we do to virtual. I resisted, threw a tantrum, and flat-out refused.
Then: pandemic.
For most of us, our relationship with virtual spaces became grafted with the fear, loss, and anguish of living in a pandemic. Today, it's difficult to look at why meeting virtually is so charged for us when it's easier to blame virtual options for the hurts that we still carry.
But virtual is not to blame.
Gathering virtually might be the most expansive* way to connect, which is why we are still committed to it.
Just think of who was not at our in-person tables before:
what is this preference to gather in person really about?
I think it's pain.
It might surprise you to hear that I used to think our liberation spaces could only bear fruit when we were together, in person, particularly since we are so committed to virtual spaces now.
If you can’t bear to join another virtual call, I invite you to heal. What have you lost during the pandemic? What are you avoiding feeling by only gathering in person?
Where does your body constrict when you consider joining a virtual space? Can you touch it and sit with it like you would a grieving loved one who simply needs you to notice their pain?
When we give our pain the loving attention it longs for, it can loosen and move, opening us back up to an expansive idea of what it means to show up to spaces that don’t tick our every box but create more belonging for a broader group of people.
Which means we may not be 100% comfortable.
I can live with that.
How about you?
tips to ease the virtual experience
while you heal
Invite someone to attend from your physical space with you. Share a meal, music, etc.
Meet up with friends in the days after a session to discuss your learning.
Add names of people you only know virtually to a post-it and stick it on your monitor.
Share a meal in-person with a loved one before or after a virtual session.
List the ways virtual technology has improved your life and keep it nearby.
* I try not to use the word “inclusive” because of the teaching of Vernā Meyers, who says,
“The thing that bugs me about ‘inclusion’ is that it sounds like a neutral word, but it’s not. It begs the question: ‘Who is including who? Who does this space belong to?’ It sounds like an act of welcoming instead of everyone being on equal footing. And I guess that is what’s happening: predominantly white spaces are trying to be more welcoming without having to relinquish white ownership of the space.”
